


Blue orchids

by mostlikelydefinentlymad



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: 1940s, Bucky Barnes Returns, M/M, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Stucky - Freeform, dancing fic, post winter soldier, preserum steve rogers, stand alone fic, steves ma wasn't dead yet in the stargazing scene but she was sickly, to 2015, what are you waiting for? the right partner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 20:23:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4680140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is 1939 and Steve Rogers does not know how to dance.<br/>It is 2015 when he realizes all he needed was the right partner. </p><p>{Well this hunger brought me here tonight<br/>Help me see straight, I may not be right}</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue orchids

** **

**1939**

"I lined us up a date for tomorrow night, buddy. Cousins, you'll love 'um. We're gonna take 'um dancing," Bucky threw an arm around Steve's knobby shoulders as they walked home. It didn't border on too far past the line, didn't give him away. And if he threw a 'pal' or 'buddy' in there it was even more convincing.

Steve sighed and slumped against his side, deliberately slowed his pace. Bucky kept his arm where it was and squeezed his shoulder - forced Steve to meet his eyes if even briefly. Baby blues blinked against the sun with eyebrows furrowed with a frown firmly in place.

"Don't be like that. She'll like you, promise."  Bucky couldn't quite figure out what Steve's dates didn't see in him. He'd screened each and every one of them and gave them a speech he'd memorized by now:

_My pal Steve is a hard hitter. He's rough around the edges and he won't back down from a fight but he also likes sketching - usually me - and hes really good at it but if you tell him that he'll deny it._

_First time I met him he had a busted lip and a black eye - wasn't more than eight years old and he wouldn't stop gettin' back up and goin' back at it. I figure he needs me around to keep him outta trouble. You're gonna love him._

They hadn't, of course. They'd taken one look at Steve - all 5'5 with dirty blonde hair, eyes like the ocean on a Spring day with a heart bigger than his tiny body could hold, and gave Bucky a look as if to say 'From the way you built him up I imagined someone taller.'  Somewhere deep within a well guarded place in his heart Bucky thanked the heavens for dropping Steve into his lap and for all the girls who turned him down.

"You say that every time," Steve grumbled as he wiggled out from under Bucky's arm and crossed his own against his chest defensively.

"You just haven't met the right one yet. That's all," Bucky replied. It wasn't fair - Steve was _his_ right partner, always had been. It wasn't mutual - not with the way Steve moped over finding "The right partner, Buck. I don't wanna settle down with just anybody." Bucky's chest ached with those words and he wished a million times that he could look at Steve and only see him as the words he so easily threw out - buddy, pal, friend because no one bats and eye if you vow to spend the rest of your life with them as long as you tack on a "Pal" at the end.

"Yeah well, at this rate I'll die alone," Steve trudged up the stairs to their apartment with Bucky following as he always did - they'd always been one step behind the other one.

Bucky nudged aside a rock and picked up the spare key - Steve had lost theirs _again._

" 'member what I said, buddy? You got me - stuck with me the rest of your life," he pushed open the door and avoided Steve's gaze.

" 'till you find your girl that is," Steve huffed as he closed the door behind him and collapsed onto the bed.

The apartment was cozy - a little too cozy in that their bedroom and living room were one in the same but he hadn't wanted to move. He'd grown up in this small space and every room was filled with memories - his ma baking bread and the smell of it drifting into every crevice, Bucky playing marbles with him in the kitchen and scowling every time he lost because he didn't take too well to losing, his books mixed with his ma's and Bucky's in every corner. Bucky had pestered him until he'd given in and agreed to let him move in and he had - the very next day. He'd offered to sleep on the floor even with the poor heating and the drafty air that whistled through cracks and crannies but Steve had insisted - they'd share the bed together. It wasn't like they hadn't done it a million times before even past the age of 14.

"No girl wants to dance with a guy she could step on," Steve continued. " 'sides that I can't even ask 'um."

Bucky sprawled out next to him and kicked his shoes off, peeled off his over shirt leaving a sleeveless white one under it that showcased the muscles he'd developed due to working from a very young age on up to now. Each one curved in the most delicious way and a trim waist gave way to strong legs and jeans that hugged his hips even as the rest of them hung loosely on his frame. He'd fixed his hair just so with pomade and a fine tooth comb until not a single hair was out of place. And his lips....oh. Steve had only the most vulgar of dreams about those pouty red lips.

"I'll teach you," Bucky replied with a cocky grin.

"What?" Steve hadn't been paying attention - he'd gotten too sidetracked and it was easy to do with Bucky around.

"I said I'll teach you how to dance. 's not that hard," Bucky shrugged.

"I don't need you to show me how Buck. I'm not a kid," Steve protested. He didn't like pity.

"Never said you were one. I wanted to help is all - can't have you sittin' on the sideline every time I go through the trouble of gettin' you a date now can we?"

Steve groaned and fell back against the bed with his elbows jutting against Bucky's - he was warm and solid and the only thing that had mattered since they were kids. He'd swiped at his lip and met curious blue eyes not unlike his own and had fallen in love - hadn't gotten back up since.

"Come'on," Bucky grabbed Steve by the hand and tugged them both up and off of the bed as it gave a loud creak.

"How are we 'sposed to dance when we don't have any music?," Steve questioned. A record player would've been nice but it was a luxury that they couldn't afford. They only had the one his ma had left when she'd died and it broke years ago.

"It'll be like when we were kids - we'll make believe," Bucky kept a warm hand wrapped around Steve's and another at the small of his back.

Bucky couldn't help but wonder what the hell he'd been thinking with this hairbrained scheme but buddies taught one another how to dance, right? It was all for Steve - that was it. That was _it._ Nothing more and if his hand wandered a little higher up Steve's back to trace the curve of his spine then that was no matter - he was checking it was all because Steve had a laundry list of health issues that kept Bucky awake at night.

Steve stood awkwardly with his hand in Bucky's, Bucky's other one slowly climbing up his back and trailing the path that his spine took and tried to will his breathing to even out.

"Girls don't like it when you're so far away," Bucky mumbled and pulled Steve closer until their chests were brushing.

"Now put your hand right here," Bucky instructed as he placed Steve's hand on his waist.

Steve swallowed hard and bobbed his head - _I understand._

"Since we got no music I gotta improvise okay?" Steve nodded and Bucky began to hum softly, followed by murmuring. 

 _I dreamed of two[blue orchids](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGlUCZagoWs)_  
_So rare and full of light_  
_That I wanted to possess each tender bloom_

He swayed his hips against Steve's - the sounds of car horns and children playing outside seemed to fade away as they danced

 _Then my dream took wings_  
_And through a thousand springs_  
_Blue orchids seemed in a world apart_

 _But when I met you_  
_Something pale and blue_  
_Came stealing from the meadows of my heart_

Steve tightened his grip on Bucky's hand as Bucky hummed and continued to run a finger up his spine until it caused Steve to shiver against him. 

"You okay? If you're cold I'll get a-," he began and put space between them.

" 'mm alright. Jus' the wind is all," Steve protested as Bucky moved back into position.

_I saw my two blue orchids_  
_My beautiful blue orchids_  
_Last night and what a sweet surprise_

Steve stumbled then and stepped on Bucky's big toe - he grimaced but didn't comment as Steve blushed and stared at the wall behind them.

He continued to murmur low near Steve's ear as they swayed in rhythm as if they were born to fall together - two pieces of the same puzzle.

_When you looked at me_  
_It was plain to see_  
_Blue orchids only bloom in your eyes_

Bucky had chose that particular song because it always reminded him of those eyes - a man could get lost in them without even trying. The same eyes that caught his own on every double date he'd ever set them up on. More than once Bucky's date had rudely commented (not near Steve - mind you) that she didn't know she was taking in the sights with him and  _his_ date rather than the other way around. He'd tried to be more careful then, allowed the gal of the week to take him by the hand and tug him wherever she wanted to go - still he never let Steve out of his sight. 

That was it - the song was over with no more lyrics but Bucky wasn't ready to let go. Not yet. Steve loosened his grip on Bucky's hand and attempted to step back. Bucky gave him a look - the one that said 'We're not done yet.' The same one that accompanied a lecture about helping out with the dishes but softer.

"Not so fast - you stepped on my toes. You think a gal's gonna go for that?"

"No...I mean I guess not," Steve fumbled. He wanted to get as far away from Bucky as possible - he'd give every date his best shot if he could bury himself in a book instead of replaying the feeling of fingertips over a spine bone and pale skin and how his pulse beat loudly in his ears with every touch. If he found the right partner all this would go away - he was lonely. That was all.

He stepped back into the circle of Bucky's arms and lightly placed a hand on Bucky's back and the other in his palm.

Bucky hummed a song that Steve wasn't familiar with and it seemed he didn't know all of the words so he left them out altogether.

Halfway through Bucky's body intimately gliding against Steve's small frame, Steve mustered up all of his courage (his ma would be proud) and returned the favor - he allowed the pad of his fingertip to map out Bucky's vertebral column and ventured down to his lower back where it curved. Bucky shivered against him and he felt he must be doing something right - he hadn't stepped on Bucky's toes again and he'd caused a breathy sound to fall from his lips when he'd ran his fingers over the waistband of his jeans. Steve looked up just as Bucky turned toward him - with his head tilted back to see him better they were at the perfect height to bridge the gap and allow Steve to taste the sweetness of those lips on his own. Bucky leaned forward and brushed his nose against Steve's - his breath coming in small puffs against Steve's parted lips.

Bucky was pushing it and he knew it. He'd known it as soon as he'd curled his hand around long delicate fingers and the other hand had traveled - left previously unexplored valleys and trails on his body until he knew he'd be awake all night replaying it in his mind.

All at once his common sense kicked in - he was going to kiss his best friend and ruin everything they'd spent their whole lives building.

"That's...that's perfect. 'think you're gonna do fine. You'll have a whole line of girls after you now," Bucky replied and it rushed out in one breath as he dropped Steve's hand and left him standing there looking like everything he'd ever wanted in life - eyes as blue as orchids blooming only for him. _Selfish._

Steve licked his lips and stared at the floor for a moment before retreating to the kitchen without another word.

Shit. Bucky had really fucked up this time.

***

Two weeks later

***

"I hear you're a real show stopper on the dance floor," Steve's date flirted. Bucky had set them up on another double date - the third one in two weeks - a record for him. She was about 5'2 with dark brown eyes, wavy brunette hair that curled around her shoulders, curves and ruby red lip stick. She was brass and beauty all in one.

"I don't know about that but I mean...," Steve began.

"Don't listen to him, hes being modest," Bucky cut in with a wink that made Steve's stomach flip flop.

"How about you come show me?"  Manicured red fingernails latched onto Steve's hand and dragged him onto the dance floor amongst a sea of couples with bodies fitting together like a glove.

The song began - nice and slow and he took her (much smaller than Bucky's) hand in his own and gently put a hand to her waist. She blushed and grinned as they swayed to the music and he even spun her a couple of times (he'd picked that up on his own. Bucky hadn't taught him that) and didn't step on her toes not once. When the second song began Bucky and his own date (a blonde haired beauty with cornflower blue eyes and a bright smile - hardly any a curve on her) made their way to the dance floor.

That's when it all blurred. Steve had stomped his dates toe no less than five times and apologized profusely - she'd been polite and had only bit her lip when it hurt. Somehow dancing with her wasn't smooth and comfortable - not like it had been with Bucky.

"How about we go get a soda?," she offered after he crushed her toe for the sixth time.

With a sigh he let her lead him back to their table where they made awkward small talk about anything but dancing. She prattled on about a woman named [Barbara Brooks Gittings](http://www.ranker.com/review/barbara-gittings/540895) who seemed important to her - something about activism. He tried to listen but ended up darting his eyes around the room as Bucky twirled his date and gave her the grin that only his dates got to see.

After two minutes of rambling she followed Steve's gaze as it made it a beeline for Bucky.

"It's getting kind of late. I should be heading home," she said with a polite smile as she gathered her shawl and purse.

"I can walk you there," Steve offered.

"I appreciate the offer, really I do but my landlady doesn't take too well to strangers," she lied as she gestured for her friend to come over.

"It was nice to meet you, Steve."  She gave him a peck on the cheek and took her friends hand.

"See you Bucky," the other girl replied with a wink before leaning in to press her lips to Bucky's without releasing her friends hand. Steve averted his eyes and took a long gulp of his soda.

Bucky leaned in to whisper something in her ear which made her giggle before throwing a wave over her shoulder at them as they walked away.

"I'm tired. Lets go home," Steve complained. He wasn't tired - not in the physical sense but in the way that his heart felt heavier than it ever had.

"Alright buddy," Bucky agreed.

After that Steve did not attempt to dance with his dates and refused Bucky's offers to help.

 

**2015**

 Their life had been nothing short of a hurricane since Steve had woken in a strange room with a baseball game that he remembered with startling clarity - attending with Bucky and had only spun out of control since.  Somewhere in between losing Bucky and finding him again with most memories intact they'd came to live under one roof once more. It hadn't taken long for them to fall into a routine and it was peaceful, comforting - the only stable thing in Steve's life.

Tony had decided to throw a lavish party complete with expensive wine, soft lighting and dancing - seductive violin and piano pieces without lyrics. Natasha and Clint were off in the corner giggling over something, Bruce was playing Candy Crush on his phone, Pepper and Tony were all over one another on the dance floor, Wanda was making small talk with a stranger and making hand gestures, Vision was observing everyone else, Thor wasn't present (rare for him), Sam was giving Sharon his best seductive grin as he tugged her out onto the floor with her heels clicking against the tile. Steve and Bucky were pressed together on the end of a very long and empty couch. Bucky had pulled his hair up into a neat bun and decided to forgo the long shirts for once - he had a classic black t-shirt on that hugged taut muscles and black cargo pants that made him look every bit the dark assassin he'd once been. Steve had went with the usual dark jeans and a white scoop neck t-shirt that sharply contrasted Bucky's.

He leaned up against Bucky - savored the many ways that his body hadn't changed. Even with his left arm replaced with thick metal it still felt like home.

"Wanna dance?," he whispered in Steve's ear. They hadn't danced - or did anything remotely close - since before Bucky had shipped out for England and he'd dashed along after him.

 "Don't look at me like that. I may not remember everything but I remember that."

 Despite decades of schooling his expressions to nothing more than a blank slate, Steve blushed and looked down at his lap as he always had when he was nervous.

 "Come'on lets dance," Bucky dragged him to the dance floor and Steve felt self conscious. Friends danced with friends these days, right?

 Bucky tugged him in until he was close enough to feel Bucky's breath on his neck - that was one benefit of being taller.

 The music changed to a [romantic somber tone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZapeCW_QPY) \- no doubt it was Tony's doing (who winked at Steve from the corner of the room) and all at once it was 1939 all over again as a metal (though it was flesh and blood back then) began to find its way up his back and every nodule. Steve shivered and Bucky grinned - repeated the motion until he ventured along the waistband of Steve's pants where he nudged a finger inside to find skin and traced - knowing exactly what it was doing to Steve who felt like he was melting in front of a room of crowded guests who, blessidly, were minding their own business. 

 "Bet you thought I'd forgotten that," Bucky murmured low and husky in his ear. 

 Steve couldn't speak - he buried his head in Bucky's neck (not as easy to do as he'd expected) and threw caution to the wind as he pressed a wet kiss there. Bucky inhaled sharply and stretched his neck to the side -  _more._

"There's a record player back at home," Steve whispered. As if no time at all had passed between them, they were on the same wave length with hardly any words.

Bucky kept Steve's hand in his own as they passed Tony - "Sorry hes not feeling well. I'm gonna put him to bed," Steve was no good at lying. Tony had simply grinned and held out a hand to Pepper who slapped a $10 bill in it.

Back at the apartment that they shared (not quite as cozy as the one they'd had before but things change and Steve was beginning to make peace with that) Bucky put a record on the player and turned down the lights. Steve expected to wake up at any moment to find that all of this - Bucky being back in his life all flesh and bone and beating heart, the two of them coming together like the hands of fate had intervened and somehow landed them both in modern day, the moderately sized apartment with Bucky's shoes haphazardly kicked off in the middle of the room and his hoodies in the dryer....was only a dream and Bucky was still dead and his mourning had taken on a whole new level of intense.

It didn't.

Billy Holiday began to belt out on the player -

_I'll be seeing you_  
_In all the old familiar places_  
_That this heart of mine embraces_  
_All day and through_

Bucky pulled Steve in and felt like his entire body was electric - every inch of Steve that he touched, every patch of skin that he explored under his t-shirt - cautiously as if he were waiting for Steve to smack his hand away and give him a lecture about how they were never _that._ Though Bucky recalled enough to know that he'd craved it night and day even after Steve's body had been morphed into new territory that he'd never felt right touching after that - only the necessary ones. And after they'd taunted him over Steve's death _(I told you not to do anything stupid...god why? please god no...n-no...)_ he'd all but begged Zola to wipe him because at least the physical pain outweighed the emotional. He'd take that to his grave - Steve would only feel guilty if he knew. He didn't ask and Bucky didn't tell.

  _In that small cafe_  
_The park across the way_  
_The children's carousel_  
_The chestnut trees, the wishing well_

 Parks - Bucky had a lot of memories chocked full of them with a feisty blonde haired spitfire who had a chip on his shoulder and a missing tooth. The two of them swinging on the well worn swingsets until their legs ached and then collapsing onto the grass to make shapes out of puffy white clouds. And another time when they were fifteen at least - the park late at night - lying on a blanket under the stars coming up with names for each one ("See that one that shines really bright over there? That one's Sarah" Steve had teared up then and Bucky had profusely apologized. Steve insisted that they were happy tears and they'd named the next one after Bucky's ma).

 Steve dropped Bucky's hand and wrapped both arms around his waist instead and Bucky followed. They held onto one another like the world might come crashing down around them at any given minute - that's the thing about catastrophe and losing someone - it becomes second nature and you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop - to wake up cold and alone in a bed that you call your own but it doesn't feel right. It feels empty - like the spot next to you should be holding him. 

  _I'll be seeing you_  
_In every lovely summer's day_  
_In everything that's light and gay_  
_I'll always think of you that way_  
  
_I'll find you in the morning sun_  
_And when the night is new_  
_I'll be looking at the moon_  
_But I'll be seeing you_

Bucky gently tugged at Steve's shirt - giving him time to back down if he wanted - until it joined Bucky's shoes on the floor. He returned the favor and they danced with heated bodies - bodies that had once known one another like a glove but never like this.

_I'll be seeing you_  
_In every lovely summer's day_  
_In everything that's light and gay_

Bucky hummed one of the lines into Steve's ear and did the thing that always made Steve's knees nearly buckle -   
  
_I'll always think of you that way_

_You know it's true..._ , he improvised. 

The notes continued in silence -

_I'll find you in the morning sun_  
_And when the night is new_

before Bucky finished the ending lyrics -

_I'll be looking at the moon_  
_But I'll be seeing you_

How many endless nights had he camped out under bridges and in abandoned buildings to find the moon shining down on him and memories rushing over him?  Of sandy blonde hair, pale freckles in places the moon would never see and eyes as bright as the stars.

Steve. Steve was his universe - always had been.

Steve picked up where he'd left off at the party - leaving wet kisses on Bucky's neck and tasting the salt on his collarbone. Bucky shivered at the touch - he'd never get used to this for as long as he lived - and scraped both hands up and down Steve's back until he moaned.

"How...how long....?,"  Steve began. It was hard to think with Bucky - _his_ Bucky - that he'd dreamed about for most of his life - caressing him first gently as if he might break and then rough, desperate.

"Mmm?"  Bucky asked - it came out muffled as he licked a pulsing vein on Steve's neck.

 "Since...since you wanted me like I wanted you."

 Bucky jerked his head up to meet watery blue eyes - the color of orchids.

 He brushed away a small tear that streamed down Steve's face and cursed himself for waiting too damn long. Every time he'd tried there had been one endless interruption after another and that whole dying and getting his memory wiped bit - tended to put a damper on the mood.

 "Ever since you tried to fight me when we first met," Bucky grinned. Steve hadn't been more than eight years old and fresh out of a fight that Bucky had rescued him from and the adrenalin was still coursing through his veins when Bucky wiped a smudge of blood off of his chin with the inside of his t-shirt, knowing good and well that he'd get a lecture about stained up shirts from his ma but it was worth it. He'd waste every shirt he owned if it meant he could touch Steve.

Steve laughed and swiped at his eyes - he couldn't recall the last time he'd cried. Even after reading Bucky's folder (endless torture) he'd taken all of his hostility out on an innocent punching bag that burst onto the gym floor.

"Can I kiss you?," Steve whispered - sometimes when he'd touch Bucky when he was deep inside of his own mind - past horrors mixing with present feelings - he'd flinch and on more than one occasion - try to fight him. Funny how the tables had turned on them.

"Been waiting ages - thought you'd never ask."  Bucky cradled Steve's face in his palms and felt his entire body burn like lightening when his lips met Steve's - a collision of fire and ice that boiled over into seventy years of loving Steve in secret - where it was safe. He couldn't keep his hands off of him as Steve moaned and slid his tongue against Bucky's.

They were a wildfire burning out of control and for once Steve didn't mind losing his grip on things. He all but handed his bleeding heart to Bucky -  _take it, it's yours. it always has been and you've always been mine._

Hot tears snaked down Steve's cheeks as he kissed back - deep and slow - savoring every taste, swallowing up Bucky's moans and curling his fingernails into Bucky's delicate skin - he didn't mind. 

Bucky broke apart and quietly laughed - "You still can't dance worth a damn."

"You're the one who taught me," Steve protested with a wide grin that caused the corner of his eyes to crinkle. 

"Could use some work. We'll have to remedy that," Bucky teased with a wink. 

"I can't exactly embarrass Tony with my sorry excuse for dancing at his next party, right? You'll have to re-teach me." 

Bucky beamed at him and moved back into dancing position but not before leaning in to rub his nose up against Steve's and breathed "Your eyes like blue orchids...they haunt me." 

All at once Steve remembered the last time they'd danced together too many decades ago and the song Bucky had chosen -

  _When you looked at me_  
_It was plain to see_  
_Blue orchids only bloom in your eyes_

 And because he could now - it was allowed - he rested his forehead against Bucky's for a moment as they breathed one another in and whispered -

 "You're _my_ right partner. Sorry that I didn't see it sooner." 

 Bucky teared up and Steve knew exactly what memory he was recalling - a musty bar right before the fall with Bucky's glassy eyes overflowing with unspoken love and an entire night of laughing over old times and they hadn't needed to kiss then because kissing someone didn't automatically equal tasting them with your mouth and your tongue - though that would've been nice. No, sometimes a single look could reach in and restart a part of you that you'd buried for so long.

 "Took you long enough," Bucky smiled through the tears that were nearly blocking his vision.

 "You're a jerk," Steve retorted as he pressed a kiss to a damp spot on Bucky's cheek.

 "You're a punk," Bucky sniffled and clutched Steve tightly.

It would be six hours and one sunrise later before they'd untangle and realize that their entire history together had been a series of eloquent and sometimes chaotic dances and they wouldn't have it any other way.

It is 1939 and Steve Rogers does not know how to dance.

It is 2015 when he realizes all he needed was the right partner.


End file.
